Thought Disorder

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Right. My zh seniors are FREAKING nice, and waikit is one hella niaokia. FUNNY, LAME. (:

Spent my ENTIRE bloody day at school, from 8am to 5.30pm and WE HAD TO CLEAN THE CO ROOM. Sweep sweep.
Reached school at 7.25am or what, then wait for the seniors to come. We had this zh thing yeah, i dont know how to put it.
Had fenzu. Yesterday we learnt mang chun, and we managed to get the hang of it i think. Then we had to learn jusong today.
I skipped lunch. Then we had dazu. OUR FIRST DAZU. :D
Though it felt a lil empty around and i was like, D.UH, confused,lost and trying to keep up with junmin, but i felt rather sleepy and almost dozed off during one of mary's lectures to the other sections. zzz. Not surprising that you can see me yawning away when mary's teaching the irritating tempo.
Good experience. Buck up. Nubbad, quite fun.

Zh fenzu. Then at 5 we combined together. Alright, I SUCK LAA. BOOO. :(

So we had to clean the DUSTY co room after that. I was already running late for my life science lecture. But i just swept a little before going off.
Okay so i chionged all the way to that BORING lecture. It's really BORING. Plain BORING.
I was late and i sat beside NATHANIEL. Lol. Nvm. It's just weird that you arrive late for a lecture and you stumble around in the dark, trying to find a seat and when you do, you turn your head and POP, a person you know sits beside you.
Cos i didnt eat anything the whole day, except bfast, i was famished during the lecture and the surroundings were so bloody cold. Right so i learnt something today- EAT.

THANK GOD MY FATHER CAME TO FETCH ME HOME. ((:
Dinnered. Home. Practised my zh for tmr!!! Dont wanna mess dazu up.

Im DRAINED OF ENERGY.

ZH AINT TOOO BAD~ x)
But im still doubting my abilities due to some misleading things. Which should i believe???

11:55 AM

Monday, May 30, 2005

EXTRAORDINARILY LOUSY.

SAY NO MORE-

GOD put me on this earth to examine small things and it is driving me crazy.
Im so lost.
Is this really my life?
Life is an illusion.
My life boat is sinking.
I want to quit.

i wish i had a goat, i hate everyone, i hate everything, say sandwich, don't look at it!, do you like burritos?, pasta in a cup, i stole a salt shaker and filled it with sugar, i have an itch, i can fit that bush in my shirt, thursday?, mexico head, tuesday, creepy elevator guy, i opened the diet coke can after i saw her shake it, this should be illegal, you're touching me!, don't touch me!, it's not an assembly until i take off my shoe, it's cold in here, i have a ketchup collection in my car, i like beans, i want to kick everyone!, i want to wound your flesh, i am an albino ninja, i am a vampire, being a vampire is like having a permanent hangover, that's not mine, mine!, give me that!, everything is stupid, why do my feet smell so badly?, ?hypocrite! Ok, i think that's it. have a nice day.

8:29 PM

THERE YOU GO.
ZEN NEEON is more ROCKIN' and ROCKYFYIN' than DIDUM is.
CREATIVE is undeniably the company that comes out with SNAZZY products.

If i had the money, i would chiong down and get zen neeon. Like- it's so cool!! Can change light colour, have some dunno what stick on things. Slim, small and it has the same capacity as didum! Right, so you dont have feather touch things but i reckon buttons are easier to handle right?

LOL- CRAP, i dont have money.
Im going to school later.

10:20 AM

Sunday, May 29, 2005

The itchiness is getting up with me. Scratch scratch.

Right. So i went to the spore food fest just now after my tll lesson.
I got pushed by many inconsiderate asses i.e. my sister the pig, who goes bumping into my bag when my mum stops, then i stop and she stops and incontrollably she bumps into my bag and i will turn around and complain and ask her to stop her crap. That's when she goes "hee-hee" and i give the "oh-you-ass-hole" look. Is this the so-called domino effect or what? Nah, she's just an ass who doesnt look before she leaps.

The food was alright. Though you can say the food wasnt that filling, it was rather satisfying. You eat bits and pieces here and there, and when you put them together what do you get? F.U.L.L. To think that my sister wasnt full and she was planning to have tuna when we get home and my mum was like "dont eat too much for dinner" and my 'follow-up' was "i though someone wanted to go on a diet??". That was a little overboard.

She has terrible HK feet! Stinking up the entire place. :S

Anw i liked the video we watched at tll today. BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE.
It's a movie. But it seems more like an expository essay and also an argumentative essay to me more than a movie. :D I liked it alot!
Let's ban guns. Guns are BAD. Im a believer in pacifism. Hate violence and guns but sometimes it's alright in some context. Just that i dont practise VIOLENCE and GUN-NING. ?!
WHAT GAY THING M I TALKING ABOUT. nvm.

HAHAHA. I bought FOUR new books today! (:
The reptile room
To kill a mockingbird
The da vinci code
Z for Zachariah

What's cookin' for b'fast tmr?
Hot dog puffs! ^^
Gardenia raisin bread!! :D
Strawberry milk!!! =)

31st may & 14th june- LIFE SCIENCE LESSONS, 6-9pm.

Now i have to hunt for felfeltay's present. Haii.

My dad's going "hey do you realised i had slim down?" every now and then and he just cant stop bubbling rubbish about it. And he says "you know now i eat so little" or "im not interested in green tea". =\ mad arse.

<33

11:08 PM

BORING.

Right. So now i feel bored.
Is there anything good for me to do?
Everyday-
sms,do the same boring old bloody things on the comp,mug, do homework, go tuitions etc etc.
Hella, i feel utterly freakish.

HAHA. My msn is FULL. Im gonna create a new one so i can add people to crap with on my new one. Im bored of my current one. No one to talk rubbish with. Haii. Where the world's gone to these days? Moo.

So im going to the food festival later. FOOD.
And im going for tution later. I think i will be going to city hall first, to look around for feltay's present. But it all depends on me, like my timing and stuff. And my level of laziness. Im pure lazy.

Im feeling
burdened
overloaded
squarish
outdated
un-contemporary
tired
sick
bored

I NEED NEW AND EXCITING THINGS TO SPICE UP THIS LIFE.
'wouldnt it be nice if the world was cadbury..'
NAH, i dont reckon it's THAT nice.
but i still LIKE chocolate! (:
gives me pleasure but i dont wanna consume it everyday, for bfast,lunch and dinner.
WELL, my homework list is bulging full. 16 pieces of assignment. LOL- maybe i left out some.
Tell me honestly, tell me truthfully, will i be able to finish all of THAT by the 3rd week?

when will be the next tme we collide?

2:51 PM

Saturday, May 28, 2005

The author for veronika decides to die is Paulo Coelho
Hunting time!! (:

11:59 PM

NEW LAYOUT.

Not done by me. Credits not to me.
I want a self-done layout but i have no ideas now.
I like this one! Good job to the designer! (:

My next layout: WAIT LONG LONG. Maybe on the 2nd or 3rd week? When im free i shall do one new one. Im rather busy with co and stuffs. Now for the brainstorming for the ideas.

Now..rayson where's my drink.???

11:47 PM

My No.1 foolproof plan. :D
Never do a comparison with your sec1 results with your sec2 results.
My parents thought i was still at the same position of the class.
HELLO? Im supposed to get the top ten, thanks to my jap.
MOELC: THANKS A HELLA LOT MAN.

RIGHT. So i spent half my day sleeping.
I should be admired cos i still can sleep in such a HOT weather. *hot*
The ptm meeting: Oh Ms Wee sees through our tables during lessons.
She knows we're sms-ing somewhere down there.
My mum AGREES with ms wee that im temperamental.
And she knows i failed my grammar test. HAHAHA.
Twc is so lovable to say nothing bad about me!
My mum is CLEVER to have said that the talk was BORING and a absolute waste of time!
My dad was dozing off and i was busy with my fingers tapping on my handphone. (=
The most hilarious part was when the talk ended and there was supposed to be this Q&A thing right after, but almost everyone went out of the auditorium. It's so bloody 100% boring.
And the teachers were like "There's still a Q&A session after this. Pls stay for it"
But everyone left. *LMAO*

Right. Im so hyper. I need a drink now. How about ORANGE juice? (:

where are you
i dont miss you at all
maybe i do-

Ms wee and twc says i've the potential to excel?!
And hella, im NOT good in my language. Sucky results.
AIMS FOR NEXT SEMESTER:
eng-a1++
chi-a2
math-a1++
science-a1
jap-a1+
d&t-a1+
geog-a1/a2
lit- a2/b3
art- a2
hist- b3/a2
h.e-a2/b3

Homework. Im gonna finish my tll homework today.

10:42 PM

Friday, May 27, 2005

i am so so so damned worn out today. ahh my muscles hurt like mad and seems like they are really strained and like contracting together.

anyway, i totally flopped huibao.
here's a piece of reminder if we have huibao the next time-
dont arrive too early or else you will be infected with the 'i-m-soo-nervous' kinda thing.
what, we're gonna have 1 week of tiring jixun next week.
so whats the difference between holidays and school days?! nothing.
jixun starts at an early and unearthly timing in the morning and ends at around 3.30.
ooh! we're gonna be in the main orchestra, but im not too sure about having the knowledge to play the dazu songs. i cant even understand the method for reading the scores for the songs.
to aggravate matters, we're gonna have this huibao next friday in front of the entire orchestra. HOW GOOD IS THAT.
oh sure, i really really hope we play as one group, not individually. i will freak out and scurry away before they can catch me. :D

i was so bloody hooked to this bloody game just now! LOL-

i flopped napfa. heck.
anw mdm tay is retiring. happy or sad? BOTH.
played a little bball during recess! (:
and after school xD
and after co ended :D
ohkay, so my day ended at around 7pm
jingjing made me sit in 2b classroom and look at pat and her dance the youth day thing
ahh, anw thanks auddie and pat and rhoda and faitha for that ear clips! ROCKS. (:
anw i just waited and waited for jing to finish her dance steps from like 4 plus till 6 plus?!
my dad came to pick me up, after my request
and then had dinner at katong
ENERVATED.UPBEATED.

hello? there's ptm tmr and im so gonna get BAD comments from the teachers
1. my attire
2. my results
3. being too loquacious, just to put it nicely
4. not paying attention in class and always doing something else
5. my behaviour in class
ALRIGHT THEN, my mum's face is gonna turn black when she get holds of my report book.
SO THERE, i had my last piece of fun today.

I'LL GET CRACKING ON MY HOMEWORK NEXT WEEK.
AIM: FINISH ON THE 3RD WEEK OF THIS HOLIDAY
PROJECTS: i dont think we can finish by 3rd week right?
(=

I don't understand why
See it's burning me to hold onto this
I know this is something I gotta do
But that don't mean I want to
What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you
I just I feel like this is coming to an end
And it's better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you
I gotta let it burn

You see it's burnin' for me to say this
But it's comin from my heart I
ts been a long time comin but we done been fell apart
I really wanna work it out
But I don't think you're gonna change-e
I do but you don't
Think it's best we go our separate ways
Tell me why I should stay in this relationship
When I'm hurtin' baby, I ain't happy baby
Cuz there's so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn

When the feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
but you know, gotta let it go
cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
We know that its true
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta Let it burn

burn.=)

8:50 PM

Thursday, May 26, 2005

I DONT THINK IM GOOD AT BBALL CAN.

Yeah i watched the live telecast of interclass bball girls for sec3 today! Ha, nah i was just at school watching the finals. 3c's GOOD. Alright, this is the first time i watched this year's upper sec interclass games. Rarh, why dont we get bball for our interclass this year!? Like in 2A, there's jingjing, shermaine, natty, qiannie, wanye- ALL OF US LOVE BBALL AND WE PLAY IT ALMOST EVERYWEEK. (: So why! We can easily form a bball team of 5 members with our dudes. And we will dominate sec2 interclass bball. Im carrying it too far right? LOL- Its just a pity. Cos we arent gonna be 2A next year. ):

Anw, got back report book. SAD.
My third lang wasnt included and so THERE YOU HAVE IT, my average marks went down. So what do i get when i study for my jap tests like a bull and pia so damn hard for every jap test? Lousier marks on my report book. I was supposed to get 4 a1s this semester and an average of 71.85 or something like that, and now, im even lower than last year's score. HAI. Hate MOELC.

Oh yeah, i flopped science test's mcq question. I have like 6/9 for both eyes but i can actually read my ques wrongly! Ohh im so GOOD. Now im gonna flop. *sheesh*
Anw nat and i had made a pact, a good one and a determined one, to study together during the holidays! Alright, maybe it wont even work out at all and we will end up slacking by playing bball. AND THERE'S ALOT OF HOLIDAY HOMEWORK. AND PROJECTS.

Hmm im taking my napfa tmr but i think i will get bronze. Like im gonna care?
Shall fail my inclines and my SBJ and my sit ups and my shuttle run and my sit and reach. So, im gonna get a NIL. HAHAHAH. Who cares. I just want GOOD RESULTS fullstop.

Oh yes i WILL flop the huibao tmr. x(
DINNERTIME. :D

9:02 PM

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

There's science test tmr!!

I dont really understand what the shit nat's thinking in her brain man. It's like- RARH, im damned confused but how do i put it to her and ask her directly? That's a lil like so outta this world. Nvm i shall leave myself in that confused state until she TELLS me one day. Maybe she wont. MEMEME.

Okay what? I ponned erhu twice in the month of MAY. Booo. Why!? I dont know.
My bball sucked today. Off-ed. Hate it! Im always sucky yeah.
There was this dhp talk today and initially everyone was listening to it and then there ended up chaos in every corner of the auditorium and practically no one was listening. Hello? Who's interested in dhp mans? That's why no one listens.
Hmm and there was this dental thing during art, for me and jingjing. Yay! Im so glad that my teeth's polished. That dentist of mine never polishes for me at all. Lazy. Anw, the dentist drilled through the gaps in between the teeth of my lower jaw and it was so pain and itchy!

Ha, now then i realise when you take 3rd lang, you actually eliminate one of the lowest subjects in your total marks and replace it with your jap, if it's better than the LOWEST. Okay, so i didnt get a1 for overall average. CHEAT MY FEELINGS. So i guess gena didnt get b4 for overall? Maybe higher maybe lower?! Dunno.

Ehh what i realised my life is MONOTONOUS. Everyday i go to school, go to third lang on tues and thurs, have erhu lessons on wed, have fenzu on mondays and fridays, have math tution on monday, two tutions on saturday. It's like- IT'S ALL THE SAME SAME SAME SAME OLD THING EVERY SINGLE DAY. How boring! Hah so i guess there's nothing much for me to blog about. Bored. Getting sick of this life.

What's the plans for tmr? Shall decide tmr i guess. Nothing's up.
FRIDAY IS A BIG DAY.
Saturday is a heart-pounding day! Damnit.

I SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR MY TEST NOW.

9:02 PM

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

LET IT BURN~

I just feel GOOD after downloading vjc and tjc's application forms. Hey, NO ONE wants to enter dhp right? Im sucha dit. Rarh. I shall tell her later that if i dont get into dhp, at least i have vip or ta to fall back on (provided they accept a dimwit like me). Bleahs. I WILL convince her, not to worry. Right. Hmm i shall fill the forms up and let MS WEE to be my "testimonial". *evil laughter* Oh yeah, as i was saying, zhiyin told me that i am the vice versa of everyone. Everyone wants to go vjc or tjc and then they will use dhp as a fall back. And me? Aiming for LAME and CHEENA dhp (when my chinese scraped a b3) and taking vjc and tjc as a support. Nuts. The application for njc ends today, so do you reckon i can consider njc?
I hate the self essay thing- makes me compliment myself until u think im a boaster. Cocky, arrogant or what. Nvm. Im a bootlicker and i will write the essay in flowery language and be a lil bhb and TADA, maybe i will land up in vjc or what. Who knows.

AHH okay my mum just insists she DOESNT WANT ME TO GO VJC. She's a fucking fool. DHP IS THE WORSEST IP PROG ON EARTH AND THERE SHE IS, SINGING PRAISES ABOUT DHP. Just lemme decide on what i think is suitable for me, not what people tell you- DHP GOOD, BRIGHT FUTURE, WHAT EVER FUCKING SHIT. I hate chinese 100% fullstop. With dhp, im bound to fail chinese. FAIL- YOU LOVE THAT WORD DONT YOU. Arsehole.

You little assy brat.

Today sucked. Boring, not much. Last day of third lang. Oooh. (: Yay.
Let's see..i have to do my art and fill in my application forms today. I DONT CARE.
And smth, i cant seem to recall. Nvm. Dinnertime- im feeling rather full.
My dad's gone crazy is a cute song! (:

7:51 PM

Monday, May 23, 2005

Hello, i ve realised that i hate this kind of typing.
elloxx, howw aree euux? ii lurrbbe euuxx. hhearrtt youuxx.
fwwennxx ferrevverx.
LOL- yeah this kinda thing. Makes me strain to decipher.
So irritating.

9:56 PM

Haii, my head is in a throbbing mess! Pain pain. Excruciating.

I spent my whole day like reading the finale of "my story": a man called dave. It gets rather confusing and stuffs but makes you crave for more. Hmm i bought this follow-up yesterday which is written by dave's brother. So when i finish this one i will start on that one. Bleah. Okay, i admit i was slack today and didnt accomplish anything good like doing my homework!! Boo boo boo. Super boo-ed. Now i fret for the overdued math homework.

I 100% dislike my mum. Not b'cos she doesnt give me materials, mp3s or what, but because she complains and complains and complains every second of the day. Not normal complaining, but to the extent that she drags everything into the matter. The complaining, im used to it already, for 14 years. Sheesh. Why cant she shut her trap for one day? She gets angry at the slightest thing, starts screaming at us, asking us to go and die, then say one day she will jump off the building. That's when i realised she is totally mad. Insane. She wants the whole world to perish. Haii. Crazy. The only time she will shuttup is when she watches tv, studies or what. Sheesh.

For now, i've got nothing in life to look forward to. Every day is just another day of suffering. It's meaningless. Nothing's bound to be good for me. Everything goes against me. Im alienated from this earth. This world, i will never settle myself in. Life was made hard for me, so why was i born to take this suffering? Im like veronika, pessimist in life. What if i die tmr? Then today's labour will all be going down the drain. All wasted. But in 'my story', dave wants to live. He knows he will prevail and God will pull him through, He will deliver dave from evil. Haii, i just cant think that way. My head is like pounding against me now. Maybe im dying from this serious, rare and unknown disease. Who knows? Tmr is never a better day, like what i always thought of "tmr-is-btr" last time. Now, no. Depressed.

Im confused. Broken into a million pieces. Shattered soul.
Im like a walking corspe, devoid of emotions.
Im not what you deem as im-
Im not happy at all;
Im living in a madhouse. hate to go back.

8:43 PM

Sunday, May 22, 2005

nat, you were right.
i should have ignored IT from the start.
now i have landed in this state,
i regret.
THANKS, it was all just a dream laa.
it will always be a dream that haunts me.
THANKS daphne, made me realise you are always here for me.(:

HAA DONT BOTHER ME ANYMORE. IM FREEEEE.
IM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING.

10:26 PM

it was never meant to be mine
nothing was meant to be mine
i would own no thing;

I realised a great deal today. Hahaha but im not good at expressing myself on my blog so i cant really tell you how i feel now. A train of emotions will rush from my blood to my brain when that particular feeling comes about and then when i get home i will totally forget everything about it. How stupid.

Anyway, today i had a goood and memorable experience.
RAM. My dad's car got alil ram-med today. By this woman, who went crying and wailing as if someone passed away after she rammed my dad'd car. What a loser.
At first i thought we hit a stone or something, and the RAM made my hear miss a beat somehow. It was a true RAM, not imagined- like i bumped against the wall and then people will imagine that RAM. There seriously was a RAM. I jerked in front and was wondering what on earth happened back there? Im being lame.

Ehh i cut my hair today. I might look like a durianhead to you if i dont apply wax to stick the hair down. Yeah, i think i look hideous. Therefore i need my wax. :D

Today today today. Big ego today. Getting bhb today. Kept singing praises of myself today. Very egoistic. Maybe i learnt a few 'tactics' from feltay? Cos she keeps reminding me that twinnie is bhb and what-so-ever. Ahh, i got bloody influenced. Hey, i kept that message where you go rattling that you miss "so-and-so". And it's MY time to blackmail you. *evil* Good. I did something fabulous for you! Just for you. (: HAHA. My art is a sure 100 is i submit this piece of 'art' i had proudly done.

Oh yeah, i saw a 3-4 year old toddler pee his pants in public. And i almost stepped on that yellowish puddle. Mememe. I wanna eat rotiboy! .. next week.

when i look at those indulging in simple and expensive pleasures
i compare them with myself- eating at coffeeshops, always being pressurised by my mum to choose the cheapest food. if i dont, she will give me that detestable stare and that lizard-like sound of hers.
why? i want to indulge too. i want to sit happily there and splurge my money on expensive but little things. this is one thing in my 14 years of arduous journey that im unable to do.
the people around me are able. when they tell me, i might appear to them that im just nodding away, but deep inside i reprimand myself for this life i've been given and entrusted to.

why do people work so hard and the result they achieve is not as good as those who always laze around?
why is life so unfair? why do the rich get more priority? why do the poor suffer? arent men all equal? this doenst appear to me so.
why are some people strickened with diseases for their entire life?
why do things have to come at the wrong time?
why do you look so happy upon knowing that bad news? i know you are scared. i know you want to give up on this life. everything has been a burden to us. its so stressful. i somehow wished i could be stabbed by God himself. i feel that everything is just down for us.

after i read "my story", this feeling reinforces even more. sometimes i would cry.
nobody understands me. that's why im in such a sorrowful state like today.

9:03 PM

Saturday, May 21, 2005

The grey ceiling on the earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child
In your opinion, and what is that?
It's just a different point of view
What else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry , what for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If you only know how much I love you, love you

The old picture on the shelf
Well it's been there for a while
A frozen image of ourselves
We are acting like a child
Innocent and in a trance
A dance that lasted for a while
You read my eyes just like your diary,
oh remember, please remember
Well, I'm not a beggar, but what's more
If I hurt you, then I hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you

9:45 PM

Still sick. Waited for the slowpoke doctor for like over two bloody hours today and almost fainting there, cursed the doctor. He asked so many nonsensical questions, when im on the verge of collasping. Fat pig.

So, im still sick. So i didnt accomplish anything today except sleeping (hey, im sick. my medicine makes me totally drowsy). And then i realised i still have monday, which is a public holiday, to complete my homework! HAHA;
Maybe the fever's subsiding but im still having a headache here..bound to kill brain cells.

One very important and major thing- FELICIA TAY ZIXUAN HAS A SEVERE CASE OF SPLIT PERSONALITY. i cant be bothered with her anymore~ Dont wanna be the victimised flea. (:

The imbecile doctor didnt prescribe any antibiotics for me! What the hell is he up to? Previously, even having the slightest cough or flu or what-so-ever, i would be given antibiotics. Now, i dont even have one. How m i supposed to recover?!
I shall be a simpleton and continue taking my medicine and when they discover i havent recover, im going for an injection (this is what im predicting)
But, i might recover. This is so contradicting.
I want to recover!! Sheesh-ed.

it just dont feel the same w/o you;
im losing-
losing this marathon
trying to catch up
im always lagging bhind-

7:17 PM

Friday, May 20, 2005

IM OFFICIALLY SICK. S.I.C.K. U.N.W.E.L.L.

Down with a never-subsiding fever, a terrible headache that gives me the lumps, sore throat, running and blocked nose, and an aching brain telling me to get off my chair right now and head straight to bed where i get my piece of rest.

As a result of my sickness, i didnt take napfa today. That means i have to take on another day. Sheesh. Gena's got the virus too. I didnt spread it to her! Okay, we just fell sick coincidentally on the same day. Ohhh.. I hate being sick. But sometimes i love it. This is contradicting.

I think i will just have bare scrapes for my lit. Sad.
And, math test= flopped. I hate graphs. Nah, i should pay more attention in class and stop my crap. Im so crapppy. Pass up my homework on time, which i havent done so for a few months already. What in the world is happening to me?! Better buck up- Shall be goood and do ALL uncompleted math homework tmr, when im feeling better.

We wrote journal entries for english- my english is horrendous. I suck at english. But, i was sick and i still took the test! LOL.

Had fenzu after school today. I have no comments about it, be it good or bad. But one thing- why must it be on monday?! Damned. Now i cant make it for math tuition. Bloody.

Im gonna update my playlist when i feel better. I already chose some songs to be uploaded. AHHH. I FEEL UTTERLY BAD. AS IN, B.A.D.
The fever's gonna kill some benign brain cells alright. Im losing sane as well. I will be stupid-er after i recover.

gonna be separated for a long time;
when will it be when i next see you?

5:52 PM

never did know you inside out
you were covered by clouds
i am looking at you all times
but you were all out of my sight
doves gave you my letters
do you feel my love?
down on earth i couldn't tell
what's happening above
'cause you are in heaven
somewhere i don't belong
oh my angel, how i pray
that you'll sing me a song
and you'll take me along

5:40 PM

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I VERY TOTALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO DO MATH- GRAPHS.

Bloody. Im so freaked out today. Screwed jap oral. Yay, we didnt manage to have the time to take the quiz! Grin.

It's bloody hell boring today. Like im so switched off after history exam and there the teachers go, hollering at us and giving us piles and piles of never-ending homework. Okay, to top it all today, i got this irritating sore throat and a bloody cough where i go coughing non-stop and then i will say "cough cough cough" again and again. Like an old hag. Im suffering from severe bronchities, on the edge of slipping into the Death Valley. LOL-

There was the gep funfair today and also this really cool performance at the foyer that attracted mobs. Fascinating. But why thursday? Spoilsport. I didnt even look at the gep funfair but i managed to catch a glimpse of the performance. REAL COOL. Rock band. And the person's singing all the small things by blink 182. I LIKED IT! Wanted to stay and watch but NVM. Sheesh.

What? There's math test tmr, and together with the english thing we're gonna do, it's all bound to kill me. Bury me alive. Oh yeap, did i mention that i met JASMINE, b8's instructor i guess, at novena square today?! HAHA. (:

Im gonna update my friendster account. Oh, i update it regularly. So it makes no difference. Guess im gonna stay up until like 2am today to study. Maybe i would rather no sleep. Alright, i think im on the verge of breaking down. *blows nose* Pathetic to the extreme-mest core. I need an instant pick-me-up. But, no thanks if you offer me pick'n'mix. And, im gonna flop tmr's napfa. Triple sadness. How sad. I need a funeral.

Im super duper wuper happy that the holidays are coming! (:

11:59 AM

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

i can be thr for you,
but you dont even need me.

3:54 PM

FREE. (:

Apparently, im gonna flop home econs. Oohlala. With that pathetic 15 min of studying that i did last night, what can you expect from me?? Anyway, i was kinda surprised that i got an a1 for my home econs for the semester. 3 a1s! YAY! so far- and i hope my hist will be a b3, lit b3. art is already b3. sheesh. I HOPE I GET AN A1 FOR MY JAP. (:

History was okay. I HOPE I DO REAL WELL. Like, so many sleepness nights concentrated on studying history must pay off!! I wrote until my hand was like fatigue. And after the exam was over, me nat and shermaine and wanye went to play bball and i had a hell of a time. Laughing, and i did many airballs on purpose. Like duh, it's so funny. Wanye treated us to drinks. Satisfaction. HAHAHA.

Roamed around. Nothing to do, so i went home.
OKAY. I TOTALLY WANNA SCREAM OUT THIS THING THAT HAS BEEN ON MY MIND FOR AGES. But of course not here, cos i know FELICIA TAY will read this. That auntay who pokes her nose into people's business. AH! There's jap oral tmr! Bloody. Picture me standing in front of the class making a total fool outta myself. Sheesh.

And to worsen things, there's still erhu later .. plus a freaking thick pile of homework due tomorrow. What can be better than these? Wet blanket. Im currently on my erhu, enjoying my 'music'. Yeah, so called. HA.

i dont think you're being truthful at all.
i ask you a simple ques and you didnt even ans me.
do you even trust me?
i dont wanna be kept in the dark-

3:06 PM

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

SHUCKS.

Received shocking news yesterday that we're gonna have huibao on next week's friday. Oh whatamigonnado. Sheesh. Im over it now. Gonna pia hard for it.

HISTORY EXAM'S TMR.

Bloody. Im still at chapter 12, and my definitions arent complete yet. OKAY, i will push myself tonight to STUDY AND STUDY. FULLSTOP.

On the bus today, there was this really cute baby. (:
She's so miniature and she goes asking if we eat rice.
Gena took a few pics of her. SHE'S ADORABLE.

Twc's great, for the first time. Really great.
B3 for chinese, b4 for science, a1 for english, a1 for maths, 57/70 for my jap test! (:

There are many things that i wanna tell the world, but no one's there to hear me out. I cant express myself and my emotions. Dit.

just im just wishing my life away,
with these things i'll never say.

5:40 PM

Sunday, May 15, 2005

WHATEVER.
I've decided that i must register for the jcs' ip prog so in case i dont get chosen by dhp, i still have a backing in the jcs!! SMART. (:
I'm applying for a seat in the vjc's open house..without my mum's consent and WHO CARES. That pig.

Alright. Thanks alot stella, for that wonderful basketball clock. Kinda cool. But aint pple not supposed to give clocks to others? Funnaye.
OH YES. Im at chapter 8 of my history textbook. Bought this brand new pen just for copying history notes, which i get to chuck them aside after the exam, or maybe they will land up in the chute.

Admit it people, im goddamn funny. Born to be cute, born to funny. (: LOL!
You will laugh like crazy when you take a look at my perfect jap ppt. Ooohlala.
But, it's not that funny right?

By hook or by crook, i must get the facts right, and memorise them well.
AND, IM NOT SCREWED.

8:15 PM

Everyone's asking : have you taken the ip forms yet?
HELL YES I DONT WANNA STAY IN DHS. I wanna try but my mum forbids. That ass.
I must get hold of the forms asap & get my butt into vjc or whatever jcs that have ip.
Though i know my mum's gonna blow her top and scream at me. Who in the world is gonna say, "Hey, I must get into DHP man" Not me. Only my mum is that foolish to think that DHP is goood.

I am stuck at chapter 6.

10:43 AM

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Alright i only came online to take a breather, that's all.
Felt so darned pekchek studying history.

The keyword is: LET GO.
but my mind is still entangled. into trains of thoughts.
Life's so short, i wont wanna spend half my life moaning.
but im. im moaning every single moment. feeling pissed at every single unfortunate thing that happens to me. all of these are inevitable.
I cant expect everyone to be what i want them to be.
i know. i dont expect anything from anyone. i know im darned picky and choosy. but i just want the answers to everything.
Life is full of obstacles.
i hate obstacles. why cant everything just go smoothly.

Several people have already given me much appreciated advices.
But i dont seem to apply them at all. All of these seem so impromtu.
I know- everything in my life has to be faced by me, myself.
Im all alone.
I just need that someone to be there for me to help me when i fall.

That's why im going to take a bath.
And back to the books. Sheesh.

8:21 PM

you.

Who makes
The sun light up my shadows
When the darkness tries to follow me
Who makes
The air that bring me life
So I can breathe the love that's given to me

You make everything good
Everything wonderful
You grace my days
And heaven fills my view
Let's forever sing
You make everything pure
Everything beautiful
You make me see the only thing that's true
It's you

Who makes
The waters of my sorrow part
And leads the gladness into my heart
Who makes
The rivers run that wash away
And clean my soul to make a new start

You hung the moon
You placed the stars that shine your love for me
I hope all that I do
Will show reflections of you

8:15 PM

Going to school for that thing was just a waste of time.
I was bored to death. While some people there are being terrorised by a certain somebody.
And i already ate my lunch before i set off for school.
So it was a double lunch. Double full, double fat.
A wastage of money on my bus fare. And i actually overslept on my way to school! But lucky i got down in time.

SEEMS like everyone is so frantic about history exam coming and everyone's studying like mad asses. PEKCHEK. I shall study too. After i complete typing my definitions on computer and sending it to auddie. Today shall be chapters 4,5,6,7,8; tmr will be 9,10,11,12 and monday will be the start of the memorising little things. So tuesday will be the most horrifying day where i get to have FUN memorising the funny things and the boring facts, the definitions area and home econs. Oh im so panicky. I need all the time in the world to do all of that. I MUST GET AN A1 FOR HISTORY, FULL-STOP.

Weep. But that means depriving my of my computer time. Nevertheless, one must take perserverance and patience and time and effort to succeed. Shall date my computer after humanities exam, where "i-feel-so-free-today" thing comes in and then i fret for my jap oral, jap quiz and math test.

Hate this piggish world.

4:48 PM

msn is just a gap to fill us up.
hard to talk face to face to have a reach-for-the-heart talk.

9:45 AM

Friday, May 13, 2005

it was just a run.

first and foremost, i wanna thank gena. (:
for encouraging me to ctd running despite i felt like i was about to collapse anytime.
really felt so clogged up.
but u helped pace me. my breathing and my running.
couldnt have done it w/o you! might even have fainted on the way.
GENA ROCKS! my truly good friend. the only one so far who's so concerned about me.
that's why i say asthma sucks.

anyway, i played basketball until im so happy today! ((:
though it was really hot. but i felt so happy!!
i mean, im not good. i suck at shooting, rebounding and stuffs.
but i really felt GOOD. (:

okay. i was early for school, for once!
and yeah? everyone was making a big fuss about my watch.
like- you look funny wearing a watch.
well okay. whatever. i think it's okay.
1st lesson was pe. sianned.
we had lit quiz today! i just ticked any-o-how. how would i know anything about MOV?
&im really losing interest in math. like graphs- WHO IN THE WORLD WILL LOVE GRAPHS? not me. uh-uh.
mdm sim was really ap today. she came in and started gabbering that we have no manners. i think she's really LOUSY at everything! and she released us for recess so late- bcos we all were too engrossed doing science wb and here she comes, asking if we wanted to go for recess and there wasnt any response apparently. so- what a GOOD excuse to release us late.

played bball during recess! whee! (:
anyway, i was sooo kind to offer my pick&mix (the present from feltay) to everyone! KIND. x)
provided they say something nice to me. haha.

english was really boring. sheesh.
hist was totally boring. oh yeah have to start revising for the exam. BOO.

had lunch and played bball ALL THE WAY.
really FUN. (:
played with shermaine babi, cynthia, wx, and the sec1 bballers! ROCK.
though the weather was horrid. spoilsport.
ohkay. now i regret being so stubborn, or should i say enthu, to have played from 12.25 to 3.50 or so and then had to rush to 2.4km, with only like 1/4 of my energy left. foolish and silly of me.
me and shermaine did something real funny! NAT SHOULD BE INTERESTED. qian's fav hobby. HEE.

today's BAD FRIDAY. so my asthma attack came at the right time. HA. while i was running 2.4km. but it's mild.
i didnt do very well for 2.4km. i was kinda sad at first. but later i realised- it's just a run.
gena made me realise alot of things. (:
hmm then got back to school and played bball with the sec1 bballers again! WHEE. wanting and her very seh rebounding! the one where she twists her butt.
and i realised, shermaine is much more pro compared to some bballers.

left school at 6.30. went to get my valuables before that.
me and gena took bus tgt. HEE.
and i still had to buy dinner.
okay i m so terribly hot. !

ahh the show on ch8 is really confusing but the plot is so damn unbelievable.!
CO TMR. boo.

9:05 PM

Thursday, May 12, 2005

THANKS. i really had a great& wonderful day. (:
now that i've finally understood what is the gap that lies between us-
it's something that is so missing that everything can go so wrong.
it's just missing.we cant reach out to each other.

well okay i was late for school once again, for two consecutive days.
what a nice way to kick off the day.
okay so when i reached school i attempted to sneak in and obviously i succeeded just like any normal late days.
but unfortunately, teacher was already in class and i knew i was heading for doomsday.
i walked into the class and then shermaine, nat and qian were like laughing.
and PHEW! the teacher just dismissed me.
i didnt even get interrogated by the lousy teacher.
i guess she thought i was booked by the scs but apparently i wasnt.
oohlala.

we had to tabulate our chinese marks today and i sucked. yes i really sucked.
i dont wish to mention anything.
29/38 for chinese test.
music was doubly lame! especially that incident where the earphones were so umm..
and math. apparently no one's interested in math already. we are like so distracted. and what the hell is mdm tay gabbering about?!

3rd lang was like a lil exaggerated. about lili's picture.
and i gotta start preparing for my jap oral. sheesh!
lets see.. what interesting incident happened? oops. nothing.

anyway i went to j8 after 3rd lang to meet my parents.
my mum is a total freak.
she ruins every single happy event.
i was hoping to have ajisen for my bdae and there my gooody mum had to come, giving every excuse to make my dad change his mind. whatever.
so we landed up at a food court. thanks to you.
you say: i will have my ajisen meal. i will have my brand new sports shoes. i will have my earclips/earphones.
but they never seem to appear.

okay whatever. i had swensen's ice cream cake!
it felt GREAT. but i was a lil thristy.

THANKS TO:
nat; for that nice pencilbox. and what?! there's still a 2nd part?! lol.
wanye; for that cute pin. ooh.
maine babi and qiannie; for that really nice cookie lolly! i <3ed it!!
keni; for that teddy cushion. really nice and the stars glow in the dark! (:
feltay; for that THING that made my hormones rise, which apparently it didnt. and that doggy that 'stinked' up my entire room and that fish keychain which glows in the dark! oh yeah the pick&mix too. (:
meixue; for that choc bar. i appreciated it.
jolene; for that radio. lol.
and those who told me about what belated presents or what- THANKS.

auddie,rhoda,faith, samantha, weiyan, cherie, leeyan, maine babi, qiannie, natty, wanye, jolene, pris, jialing( for that ecard), daphne(:, amelia, kanglin (sorry i was in a frenzy), candis, melissa, keni, feltay, meixue, geneve, peijean, perle, vanessa, yuntong, junwen, sherline, shining( 12may-twin!), chenying, peiting, junting, esther, yichen, yulin, libing, huijing for wishing me happy bdae.

whoever i left out- i didnt forget you! THANKS A MILLION. (:
im an official in 14. is that good or no good.
but yet im still childish at heart.
i dont need any presents actually-
i just need all of you,
every single one of you
to be around me.
to be here for me.MY FRIENDS. (:
and youu- <333

9:18 PM

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

key* to that enclosed cage.
im putting on a front everyday, trying to look happy.

to YOU: i guess i was rather cold to you today.
actually i dont feel the bond between us
awkwardness.
but i really want you as a really close and good friend.
sometimes you are so dao and cold that i wonder-
are you angry?
are you stressed?
what are you thinking in your mind?
are you keeping secrets from me?
do you ever trust me?
are we really good friends?
do you even want to tell me what and how you feel?
im so sorry. maybe you felt abit sianned today is because of me.
if it is, im really sorry. i didnt mean to be dao and cold.

i was late for school today but i wasnt booked. lucky.
anyway, i hope i score an a1 for my english.
i will at least get a 60, for now, without adding the brochure and oral marks.
A1 PLEASE? please please please? x)
we ran 3 rounds for pe. sheesh.
then we played bball. not fun.
my math is totallaye getting retarded alright.
science lesson was really interesting. about the sexual reproduction thing.
oooh.ahhh. :D
lit test! our protests didnt pay off at all.
okay yeah i just crapped for it.

we played bball.
i was really laughing until pengz. HAHAS me and wangwang. LAUGH.

art. painting session! (:
had bball after school. 3.20 to 5.30. SHIOK. x)
we played many many matches.
with sec3s. shermaine's senior issit?
their interclass is on monday. i wanna watch!
so it was sec3s vs. 2A.
OOH WE SO ROCK! 2A.
the sec3s were gooood also. they were nice peeps.
anyway, it was terribly hot and the sun was simply terrible.
the shade became my all-time fav. place.
&me and jing were like damn spastic. SPAS.
wangwang's name fascinated everyone.
SERIOUSLY, I THINK THEY WILL WIN!
they are quite pro yeah?
i wanna watch interclass!! (:
cheer them on! oohlala.*

erhu. mary was on a frenzy scolding us.
and correcting our hand position.
and yeah? she actually praised me today!
yeah i guess im just lucky.
despite not practising for like 1 over week?!

i went to orchard after that! (:

today's the eve.
i wanna thank-
that girl on friendster whom i dunno; THANKS! for writing me a testi to wish me happy bdae.you're the 1st!
jolene; for your early present. LOL!
shermaine; for wishing me happy bdae. (:
auddie; for wishing me happy bdae on friendster. <33
yulin; for writing that testi to wish me happy bdae.
pris; for that happy bdae sms.
peijean; for that happy bdae sms.
meixue; for wishing me happy bdae AFTER YOU WERE LIKE SO BLUR.
feltay; for telling me that my hormones are gonna rise tmr. WL! whatever.

whatever. JUST A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL OF YAH.
thanks. im gettin' a'lil old here. wheepes.

10:51 PM

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

i seriously feel like crying.
didnt know all these will make sucha deep impact on me.
now that the situation is in this kinda state,
i really dont know what to do.

all these really hurts.
stabbed me
plunged deep into me
pierced my wounds
kill me
seeking solace for everything
whr is it, tell me someone.
though i may seem bochap
but i do care
i do get hurt
in every single way
im just like you. you're just like me.

i really can cry at this moment
thanks auddie for telling me to cheer up
i know i wont- i wont.
i dread those days of the week
thr seems to be a heavy burden in me
i hate everything in this life

damned. i hate being stabbed in this manner.
be strong,be strong now
too many,too many problems

seriously, im so afraid.
i dont ever want that day to come
if it does, what should i do?
GOD,SAVE ME.
i beg you.

7:59 PM

damned. i failed my english grammar.

whatever. it's a freakking lousaye day.
natalie gan yeekia's b'dae today. HAPPY B'DAE. (=

felt BAD today. as in BAD like a gangster yeah?
i did something that i shouldnt have done!
i feel like im getting from bad to worse and worse to worst.
whatever. everyone should know what i had done.
d&t. we actually thought it was home econs today! hahas.
really missed mr quacken and his gibberish.
anw, i saw smth really GROSS. yeah yoo all know-
piaed for jap in chinese. sheeesh.

had jap test. ohdear. im not gonna do very well.
and then after break i didnt know had another test!
so whatever lah. i hate everything.

after 3rd lang me and gena go gelekgelek. shuangs!
we were like so lame in the bus! DRTS.
we got down at sr, then we sat there and crapped. then we decided t go kovan.
and we came out from sr mrt and walked to the bus-stop! lol!
when we could have taken 53 t kovan. LAME.
met huiyi and eugenia! ooohlala.
took neoprints. (: spastic!
then we settled down and ate some crappy stuff.
the ice thing was really cool but the onion rings were alil ex.
then went home.
gena took 2 over hours to reach home from bishan to sengkang. :D
anyway, we planned our JOURNEYS already! hahas.
still got alot alot alot more. yay! this thurs going t white sands t see the bag.
oooh! getta take 53 all the way. ONCE in a lifetime. cool.

out of grasp-
it seems like you're slippin away by the day
i cant picture
what will happen if that day comes
lost. so lost.
i try so hard but it all seem t backfire on me.
it seems so easy for you;
but why it seems like everything to me?

7:03 PM

Monday, May 09, 2005

i suck. i seriously suck. at almost everything. im a failure in every aspect of life.

chinese test was alright.
my hist wasnt really alright.
and my math is really damned lousaye.

what. there's jap test tmr. lit test the following day. 2.4km run on friday.
this week sucks. though pple might consider it a special week if they were in my shoes.
it's not. it means im getting older. no i dont want!!
i wanna be young and immature and stress-freeeee. FREEEE.
ogosh. those kinda life will only exist in our dreams.

thr was health checkup today. &gooood. i dont need that stupid pair of specs. good. now i will stay like THIS. my backbone was straight. double good.
so we had t miss a few periods. really darn happy.
okay yeah i was kinda feeling ap in the morn. dao pple who talked to me.
sheeeesh i feel bad.

okay yeah WHATEVER. dont irritate me NOW cos im really feeling BADD.
now for home.econs evaluation. WHY THE HELL DID I VOLUNTEER TO DO IT.

maybe i will meet cyril or eddie in hougang on the streets SOMEDAY. x)

i hate this life lah. why was i born me. why.
like my smile is just a facade to the misery hidden inside.
to my mother: i guess you were right. you should have aborted me in the first place so i wouldnt have to go through all these and what you say i am a failure and i flop in everything and you wished i wasnt born.
yea i wished.

8:25 PM

Sunday, May 08, 2005

chinese un-muggged. sheeesh.
jap cant-mugggg. boo.

okay today at jiang in a frenzy singing cheers.
like -
you arh
they arh
all arh
siao arh

junwen was going gaga over jason.
and that pervert keep looking back at yuntong and junwen.

then learning lab was alil sianned.
got to know this stupid joke. funny.

alright i must mug now.
today saw alot of things i wanna buy.
i seem to have a million things to buy. never ending.
i dont think i can go for outing tmr.
hey, maybe after humanities exam yah?
it's not too late right.
anyway, in the morning today i got my piece of mind off my ass. THANKS. (:
my mum wanna meet ms wee! oh gooody. lets see wad ms wee will say.
and she wanna see mdm sim! oh dearr. with that bare pass at science i think im in hot soup.

anyway, i wanna this book-
veronika decides to die
but it's m18 i think.
sianned.
i think it's a good book.
but lemme finish my story that book first.

gonna update my wishlist! ohh im gonna start saving.
taaadahh. mugmugmug.

8:47 PM

HAHAS. im so on today! woke up at 7am in the morning.
anyway, new layout. nothing special and nice and good about it. :D

okay i felt bored just now so i went FRIENDSTER SURFING!
i looked up camp instructors' friendster accounts and taadah! i found many.
so i was really fascinated..
'cos eddie lives in HOUGANG.
'cos cyril lives in HOUGANG.
it's a small world after all. HAHAS.
as i was saying in my previous entry, we might meet on the streets someday?
cant wait to tell gena and kanglin about this surprising news. LOL!!

anyway, not really studying for my chinese test now, though i really really really ought to do it now. sheesh.
later still got tuition! alamaks. boooo.
so that leaves me no time to mug.
booboo.booooooooo.
bad bad. i feel bad. at this point in time.
&hungry too! havent had breakfast.

felfel said what?! co practises starts tmr!?
drts. why dont i know. im always the last to know everything! LOL!
but since i dont know, i might as well continue to act as if i dont know
so i dont have to go since i dont know.
stupid.

when's lit test? i dont know either.
anyway, today's mothers' day and i only got reminded yesterday. hahas.
i aint prepared and i wasnt planning to be prepared anyway.
oh yeah there's health checkup tmr
so they are gonna tell me to wear specs right?

i am going to mug for chinese test. im going. im mugging for chinese test.
my handphone vibrates in the funniest way that you will jump when u hear it vibrating. :)
i think i need another haircut to make me look more immature and childish. so i wont look that dao. LOL!

8:41 AM

Friday, May 06, 2005

You! Doin' that thing you do!
Breaking my heart into a million pieces,
Like you always do.
And you, don't mean to be cruel
You never even knew about the heartache
I've been goin' through.

Well, I try and try to forget you, girl
But it's just so hard to do
Every time you do that thing you do!

I know all the games you play
And I'm gonna find a way to let you know that
You'll be mine someday.
Cause we, could be happy, can't you see?
If you'll only let me be the one to hold you
And keep you here with me.

'Cause I try and try to forget you, girl,
But it's just so hard to do
Every time you do that thing you do

I don't ask a lot, girl,
But I know one thing's for sure,
If your love I haven't got, girl
Then I just can't take it anymore...whoaa!

Cause we, could be happy, can't you see?
If you'll only let me be the one to hold you,
And keep you here with me

'Cause it hurts me so just to see you go
Around with someone new
And if I know you, you're doin' that thing
Every day, just doin' that thing
I can't take you doin' that thing you do!

BIGBANG WARRIORS!
<3333

11:59 PM

first you do it with your fingers and then the flap and then the shake. ((:

11:58 PM

im so contented with my mere 3 hours of sleep just now.
i feel refreshed.
we feel good, dadadadadadadaa
we feel so goood, dadadadadadadaa
so good, dada
so good, dada
we feel good, dadada.. WOO!

okay im currently in a frenzy scratching those red and swollen bites by those pesks. sheesh.
hmm i feel funnaye being at home, though i WANT to be at home during the camp so much.
now i kinda miss the camp. the instructors and the fun. but not the accomodations& showering areas. &duh the sitting on the road part. ouch.
BIGBANG& B6 was really darn seh. ((:
so were b7 to b10. we all rock!
suddenly the camp spirit burns in me. i want camp! cheers. i want cheering!
i shall upload some camp songs onto my blog.
for now, this sec2 level camp will just be part of our memories.
who knows? we might meet our nice& friendly instructors in the future while walking on the streets? HAHA. it might be awesome.

remember lonely by akon? im hearing the older version now. apparently the one sang by akon is much nicer and cuter. sheesh. but the older one is mr.lonely instead of lonely.

damndamn. when i wake up tmr it will be mugging again.
BACK TO THOSE OLD DAYS WHR WE GO SIAO STUDYING.
i aint looking forward.
though this camp is just 3 days, 2 nights
really had a fabulous time there
the instructors were good. great.
camp mates were wonderful.
stress-free. just concentrating on overcoming obstacles, teamwork& everything to do with FUN!
sheeeeeeesh.

stress is flooding again.
monday chinese test
tuesday jap ca3
next next week we've got humanities exam.
all these tests seem so normal before we set off for camp
but now it seems like a joke god is playing on us.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh i hate it man. tests.
maybe one day i will go join sealsports& be an instructor!

i missed didum a million.
am i glad to be back in my normal life?
<3 BIGBANG!
<3 SIXERS!
ima BIGBANG-WARRIOR! (gives that cute lil cheer)
lets go CHIWAWA!
we're all doing THAT THING YOU DO, singing the same song& cheering with the bottom of our hearts.
(:

11:05 PM

came back with sore and aching muscles, an over-loaded luggage, a hip which is probably about to break- PAIN& a tired soul. finally returning to our normal lives. phew.

OVERALL, CAMP ROCKKED& B6 ROCKS!
the entire section B rocks alright. (:
the instructors are wayyy cute& friendly.
i think that we've got the most nice& friendly instructors yeah? :)
instructors- cyrl (cereal/tellytubby), evangeline, jason (zombie), jane, jasmine, charles (tellytubby), bigbear ^^

okay so first day section a&b supposed to sleep in the tents and c&d in chalets.
the weather was blooody humid. oman.
first day did the high&low elements. kinda fun.
i got fooled and tricked by this instructor. and then she see me she will keep niaoing me and i dao her. drts.
had this night walk thing. sucha scam.!
we sat on the roads waiting for hours until we all wanna flop. sheeesh.
kanglin, candis, feloh and me went in to only find that we were cheated.
oh yeah! jason is like a walking zombie right?
we met him during our night walk and he just walk past us like he didnt see us.
feloh damn lame! she was like "zombie leh".
we were like "shutttup lah"
jason is damn dao and cool and shuai. HE LOOKS LIKE IRIS RIGHT? omg.
probably he's iris' brother? maybe.
reached the campsite at like 12am& cos of our accomodation prob we had to pitch another tent.
so we slept q late while feloh sneaked out.

in the morning realised i got nosebleed. sian.
feel very very super sleepy& could even fall asleep while walking.
so we did amazing race& river crossing that day.
FUN!!! ((:
amazing race we find and run until like crazy dogs.
river crossing damn seh! lucky no jellyfish.
but we were all wet& damn freakking disgusted cos we couldnt change cos later we gonna do rafting.
ahhhh. but we didnt go for rafting- the only one outta all the others. boooo.
cos there was low tide at that time.
but anyway, it was a blessing in disguise i guess.
our raft kinda gave way or something when we had the testing trial by making cyrl and evan sit on it.
hahas our efforts went to waste.
then after that it started raining. so we returned the barrels and poles.
we had a super fun time rolling the barrels back! (:
rain. apparently we all got wet.
hid under the chalets and started cheeering with the guidance of the instructors.
very fun la. we bomb section c and vice versa.
practised for our chiwawa advertisement.
at night had campfire. we had to sit there and wait like siao again.
i fell asleep.
our performance was kinda floppish. oops.
campfire fun lah, but ytd i was very very lethargic. so couldnt feel d spirit around.
had supper and debriefing by cyrl.
people were complaining that he doesnt spend enough time with b6 cos he's the section leader.
i think its okay. not his fault.
ohh we slept in chalets ytd! DAMN SHUANG. (:

today was the last day! WHEE.
i felt da REAL camp spirit around.
we all had cheering and we all saboed shai, fahmy, charles and cyrl to sing chinese songs for us! hahas.
hmm last day alrd. feel kinda sad but happy. funnaye.
okay b6 rocks and BIGBANG is so seh! (:
our motto:
we want to reach the stars
we want to be the best
we want to save the world
yes.

and it's also available in chinese version but im lazy to type it out.
kinda lame right.
and then eddie's song is also damn cute.
boomboomboomboom
he's eddie from outer space
boomboomboomboom
have you seen such an ugly face
boomboomboomboom
heyhey set me free
boomboomboomboom
ugly eddie is looking at me

funnaye one! (:

then the glenn&hua cheer also damn cute.
glenn cheer also. goes "nagnagnagnag"
banana song also cute!
and BIGBANG WARRIORS also!
all the claps all very cute& the cheers all very nice! (:

hmm gena&i were at white sands crapping.
ate yakun kaya toast. nice but you cant talk while you're eating cos the crumbs will get stuck in your throat.
gena was in a kinda mooody and baddd mood. CHEER UP!
so with our super heavy bags we scaled the whole shopping centre. wheee.
bought afew stuffs.
took 88 home and couldnt make it to erhu lesson.
gena came over for a while then i sent her off to mrt station.
on the way we happily singing banana song! (:
sheesh. my hip hurts like mad. it's an old injury.

&i cant take it anymore. i need my friend called sleep.

i was thinking of you sometime during the camp
it's kinda hard to say give up.

4:26 PM

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

i cant believe it.
i cant contemplate the idea of carrying my huge camp bag and saying good-bye to my cosy home, leaving for school& then coasta sands. sheesh.
bye to the air-con nights. bye to my dates with my computer.
hello humid weather. hello self-living.
hello world.

anyway, today's the eve of the camp. OOH IM FEELING RATHER EXCITED.
though i have no companion or what-so-ever you can it. x(
and i haven even started with the packing of my camp bag!!!! DRTS.
will pack later. still got ample time. (:

today, there wasnt formal lessons.
had the syf celebrations. i liked co's the best. DUH! haha.

so, eeeeevil mdm tay had us stay back for math lessons until 11.15- DEPRIVING ME OF BBALL.
&so i had a few shots and i went off to junction8 with auddie and rhoda to meet feltay.
took neoprints. as usual i looked spastic.
bought pick&mix. ((((:
then we waited at rsh for the rest to come.
then ate at delifrance. i hate my dining etiquette. hahas.
we just crapped around and went for 3rd lang lahs.

super boring. empty classroom! haha.
after 3rd lang took bus home with gena.
so we went to hougang mall and buy some camp stuff and TIDBITS!
fat hope gena! dont kup mine- and i wont let you kup cos you got sore throat! hahaha.
and we bought SOMETHING.
and the 1.5L of mineral water bottle.
had a great time laughing. haha.
the weight of my bag has an impact on my mood! dots.

huh. my posts are getting shorter. im drained of energy today. DINNER TIME! (:
IM SAYING FAREWELL TO ALL THOSE READING THIS.
be back on friday! tc. (((((((((:
&im preetty sure six6 will rock!

7:06 PM

Monday, May 02, 2005

GOD SAVED ME!
finally done with that dumb bio report.
just keep swimming, keep swimming, keeeeep swiiimmmmmming.
that's MY MOTIVATION. gonna sing it to all of ya' tmr. hahas.
i realised in the "who-did-the-questions" thing, nat only has (a) and (e). ehh! plus those were the ques all names were included. drts.

haha. since im so tired and its getting kinda late down here, i shant pack my camp bag today. though i cant wait to get down on packing- cos its so fun! (: it can wait, it can wait.

been out the whole day. *whooops* im so tired and dead beat. LETHARGIC.
okay i went to tll in the early morning. at least i didnt fall asleep.!
then i went to singapore general hospital to visit my uncle's mum. or maybe to be clearer, my aunt's mum-in-law? that's clearer.
at the hospital, i realised how brittle life is.
there's this girl staying at the opposite bed of my aunt's mum-in-law:
she's really THIN. as in, just skin and bones. really. shocking.
then she looked really depressed and like she wanted to end her life any moment.
i couldnt help staring at her. she really IS scary and horrifying.
and i looked at my aunt's mum-in-law.
she has throat cancer, i suppose. and she just had an operation. so her vocal chords are gone and she cant speak.
but she looks so happy. SO DETERMINED TO LIVE THIS LIFE DOWN TO THE MAXIMUM.
she is contented with life.
look at us? we have four alive and kicking limbs. we have normal-functioning organs. we have our vocal chords. we are free from illnesses and diseases. we are normal.
but we're just not contented with life.
everyday we are fighting among one another.
we chase and scramble after branded materials.
we are so healthy. yet we are like THAT. face up.
life was created for us. we should live it, love it. look things on the bright side? i doubt i can ever fulfil that,but one thing- i will learn to love things the way they are.

haha maybe that was crap.
went to have my hair cut. actually i think it was just a little trimming bcos it doesnt make any difference. hahas.
off to kinokuniya. swarming with people.
bought my book! AHH I M SO DAMN HAPPY.
and a comic. just trying out.
then i read my book and realised i had read it before. no harm reading again.
IT REALLY ROCKS.
one thing off my wishlist. (:

then had to take the mrt home.
had tution and i realised the worksheet that i did today was the same as what i did last friday. DOTS.
POLAND'S going for re-service. i know you cant make it! hahahas!
and he was like saying my b'dae is next week. ohh yeah you're gonna be having your re-service so no present for you! hahas. and none for me? HOW SAD.

that should be it. tatas im gonna be off into my deeeeep slumber. cheerios.
(maybe mums love abusing kids, so that's what we should give them for mother's day perhaps?)

11:07 PM

Sunday, May 01, 2005

i seriously wanna crush my bio report now. boo.boo.boo.
HOW CAN THIS EVER HAPPEN!?
we've got like only tmr to finish it&-
HERE IM SAYING I CANT MAKE IT TMR.
im so sorry. but i will play a part in it.
i will find info RIGHT NOW. sheeesh.

It's been raining since you left me

Now I'm drowning in the flood

You see I've always been a fighter

But without you I give up

yes there was jiang today, of course.
despite it's labour day today. kiasuism.
kinda boring yeah. had this test which i wrote till my fingers were like gonna break.
t'cher's forcing regina to join for the next semester. this is dumb.

no learning lab today. HA- but there's tll tmr in the MORNING. haix.
went to my mum's colleague's housewarming party. FOR A WHILE 'cos we were on our way to aunt kat's house.
ohh it was an indian colleague's housewarming. haa.
then we ate some indian food. remember the yogurt thing as dessert we watched in home econs? I TRIED IT. i didnt take it! i was offered- ALOT.
ahhhh i cant say it tasted TERRIBLE, but it was like- I DONT LIKE IT. drts.
but i cant just eat a lil& throw the rest away?
SO I ATE ALL OF IT. while my mum was like "i cant finish".
hahaha. nvm. so i ate it- and i told them it was nice. how polite.
the rest of the food was notbad i guess.
it's a great pity i cant take spicy food. i will scream for cold water.

then went to aunt kat's house for gathering.
hahahha. ate so many junkies there. sheesh.
the food was NICE.
basically just watched tv and slacked around and joke. LOL-
daphne was attempting to crack my knuckles. PAIN!
so from this horrible experience, i've decided that i dont like cracking my knuckles&
my fingers are too stiff and hard. (i'm getting old)
ohh yeapp, there was this really interesting foc serial drama with around 1 episode going on?!
you wont understand. we are the kay-pos! hahaas.
i've got many things to say but i dont know what should i type. NVM.

Now your pictures that you left behind

Are just memories of a different life

Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry

One that made you have to say goodbye

What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair

To touch your lips, to hold you near

When you say your prayers try to understand

I've made mistakes, I'm just a man

And I will love you, baby - always

And I'll be there forever and a day - always

I'll be there till the stars don't shine

Till the heavens burst and

The words don't rhyme

And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind

And I'll love you - always

the tune keeps revolving in my mind- i simply cant get it off.

ohh yeapps. did i mention about LUNCH on tuesday? no i didnt. nvm i shant elaborate.
i hope it's just simply LUNCH. i feel extra still.

11:16 PM

About

Felicia studied in Dunman High School, loves elmo, is a major drama addict and is a cake lover. She has quit coffee even though she loves it.